Reality or Fun-House Mirror Distortion?

I still seem to be allergic to something in my apartment. Others don’t notice much when they visit but I’ve placed four work orders for various problems since November. So, logically, the next strategy was to I tried to ignore it. I’ve tried multiple solutions beyond work orders, including air purifiers and working away from home, benedryl and others, but nothing seems to help-it’s low-grad and chronic. I’m hesitant to seek further assistance because of past experiences where I felt dismissed or judged and so I think I’m stuck with this forever (not true!)

Recently at lunch a friend made me realize how much it still occupies my mind. Ignoring it is not working. 

Similarly, another incident at happy hour triggered different and wrong assumptions. I saw a message about changing our meeting time in the future. I jumped to the conclusion I had once again failed to meet time promptness expectations. I literally missed the second message in the string that would have avoided the whole stressor—there as a hour and 45-minute wait at 5pm on Tuesday!

These experiences are some examples of my own cognitive distortions.

Moving forward, I am trying to recognize black and white thinking and then challenge my assumptions and ensure they align with reality. Reminding myself to verify my thoughts against facts can help prevent unnecessary stress and self-doubt. As for addressing the root cause of the air quality issue, perhaps testing the air quality could provide valuable insights, despite the initial cost. Focusing on short-term solutions and trusting that I’ll navigate any challenges that arise can also alleviate anxiety about the future.

What are cognitive distortions?

Cognitive distortions are patterns of irrational and negative thinking that can lead to inaccurate perceptions of reality and contribute to emotional distress. These distortions often occur automatically and can significantly impact one’s mood, behavior, and overall well-being.

One common cognitive distortion is catastrophizing, where individuals magnify the importance of negative events and anticipate the worst possible outcomes. For example, someone might believe that failing a single exam will lead to complete academic failure and ruin their future career prospects.

Another distortion is black-and-white thinking, also known as polarized or all-or-nothing thinking. This involves viewing situations in extreme terms, with no middle ground or shades of gray. For instance, someone might perceive themselves as a total failure if they make even a minor mistake at work, ignoring all their past successes.

Mind reading is another cognitive distortion where individuals assume they know what others are thinking or feeling without any evidence. For instance, someone might believe that their friend is angry with them because they haven’t received a reply to a text message, even though there could be numerous other reasons for the delay.

Labeling involves attaching overly negative labels to oneself or others based on specific behaviors or situations. For example, someone who makes a mistake at work might label themselves as “stupid” or “worthless,” disregarding their overall competence and value.

Discounting positives is a distortion where individuals minimize or dismiss positive experiences or attributes, focusing solely on the negative aspects of a situation. For instance, someone might receive praise for a job well done but attribute it to luck or external factors rather than acknowledging their own skills and efforts.

These are just a few examples of cognitive distortions that can negatively impact mental health and well-being. Recognizing and challenging these distortions is an essential step in promoting healthier thinking patterns and improving overall emotional resilience.

In the context of their situation with the air quality issues in my apartment, catastrophizing could manifest in several ways. For example, I could catastrophize by excessively focusing on the potential health implications of the poor air quality, imagining worst-case scenarios such as chronic illnesses. Additionally, they might catastrophize about the long-term consequences of not resolving the issue, envisioning scenarios where their health deteriorates rapidly, impacting their ability to work or enjoy life. These catastrophic thoughts can exacerbate feelings of anxiety and helplessness, making it challenging for them to focus on practical solutions And all of my catastrophes do have a grain of truth to them. It takes my past experiences and magnifies them trying to keep me safe, but not really helping stuff. Recognizing the pattern and then actively finding a way to shift is an ongoing practice, but one that helps me manage my baseline emotional dysregulation from ADHD.

Coming in April!

Another Tiny Habits™ by Email April 22-26

Looking to revisit Tiny Habits™, never done it in the first place? Join me for a 1-week refresh or intro to Tiny Habits™ by email. More info next month, but expect:

• Form 3 habits 
• Learn the Tiny Habits™ process
• Videos to teach you the process from BJ Fogg of the Stanford Behavior Lab
• I’ll use an email automation system (go make it easy!) to help track your progress and provide personalized feedback if you have questions. I’ll also have a couple video “office hours” during the week if you want to drop by and say hi.

What you’ll Walk Away With:

Want to participate? Just reply to this email and let me know or sign up here!